Love without limits

I believe in love. I believe in the power of love to heal, comfort, build people up, give strength, courage, inspiration, encouragement, hope, a sense of well being and fulfillment, and to help people recognize their own internal sense of the divine. I believe genuine love always considers the well being of another, even if it comes at a personal cost to ourselves. What better example of this do we have in history than the sacrifice of Jesus’ life in the name of love?

I believe there is no litmus test for love. There are no qualifiers to it. One person does not deserve love more than any another. We are all creations of love in God’s eyes, equally deserviing of love, equally capable of giving love to others if we would only choose to do so. I think of how committed some people in the world are to hate. We only have to turn on the news to see how focused people are on their hatred, how dedicated they are to it, how much they are willing to sacrifice for it. Oh what a different world it could be if we were only that committed to love instead. Think about the possibiliites if human beings spent just a fraction of that time and energy on loving others, accepting them, and seeing the divinity in each other.

What are we so afraid of? Fear of betrayal, of being hurt, of being disappointed. These are fears of the ego. The ego which wishes to protect itself from ever being disappointed by someone. In allowing the fears of the ego to dominate us, however, we also sacrifice the possibilities of where love can take us in our own lives, in the lives of those around us, and even in a broader sense - the entire world. Instead, we place boundaries on love and sadly pre-determine its limits in our lives and in the lives of others.

I put absolutely no bounds on the capacity of love to create change in this world. I dream big. I think of the possibilities without limitations or boundaries. If I can dream it, it IS possible. Love has no room for fear. It has no room for bitterness, anger or disappointment. It does not allow for the pain of the past to write the story for the future. Love — it is the greatest commandment — to love God, to love each other as ourselves. No boundaries, no limits, no conditions, no litmus test.

Learning something new

Research shows that continued learning throughout the human lifespan helps human beings to stay mentally alert and may even ward off dementia. Learning new skills also helps stabilize mood and leads to greater life satisfaction. Similar to other aspects of our lives, we have a myriad of excuses we use to avoid attempting things we have always wanted to try. Fears and self doubt may predominate. We don’t have the time, we don’t have the talent or the ability, maybe next year when things aren’t so hectic, and so forth.

Once again, thoughts of stepping outside of the comfort zone bring to mind excuses in plentiful supply. Some of us feel like if we aren’t going to be able to excel at something it isn’t worth trying. What a tragedy it is to think of all of things we may miss out on discovering about ourselves because we allow excuses to dominate. So what is it that you have always wanted to try? A foreign language, drawing/painting/art, creative writing, martial arts, a new sport, growing a garden, woodworking, knitting/crochet/quilting, etc. What are your excuses? Are the excuses really worth missing out on something that could broaden your life experience and even benefit your health and well being? I doubt it.

The passing of a generation

My great-aunt died a week ago. I found out today. Over the course of the last year, three of the siblings in that family have died. She was the last one left of her generation. I sifted through some of my many memories of her, the first to come to mind being the lunch we had at Tavern on the Green in Central Park when I was a teenager, the visits to her apartment, how stunningly gorgeous she was and what amazing teeth she had. Funny the things you remember about a person.

I also began to think about how each of us who follow previous generations have a responsibility to honor their lives not only with our memories of them, but also in our own lives. We have a responsibility to reach our potential, dream big for them, be all that we can and give our gifts to the world and those in it.

I am also thinking back about some of the individuals a couple of generations ago in my family who had the courage and strength to leave the safety zone of their home country and family to follow a dream to the United States and go through Ellis Island in the process. We get so used to living in our zones of comfort each and every day that I wonder if we possess the same level of courage our ancestors did to step outside of that comfort zone, challenge ourselves, reach higher, dream bigger, make drastic changes in our lives when necessary to reach our full potential, develop our gifts, and live our dreams.

Have we numbed ourselves so much in our modern comfortable lives that we are no longer capable of dreaming and reaching greater heights of life fulfillment and purpose? I hope not. I am reminded by the passing of a generation in my own family that those who went before me were no different from myself. I carry with me their legacy, and I hope and pray to honor their lives by the way I live mine.

Life is Now

I wonder how many of us are living our lives entirely too much in the future, waiting for that perfect day to come to fulfill a dream, waiting for just the right set of circumstances to be in place before we really start living our lives authentically and with a sense of purpose and fulfillment?

So many times it seems we allow fear to keep us from achieving goals, from taking risks, from doing what it is we know would make us happy or lead to a more fulfilling life. We cling to what we know because it is safe and without risk merely because it is known. The unknown terrifies us. We come up with a myriad of excuses to explain why we aren’t living our lives the way we truly want, many of them having to do with the practicalities of everyday life, but the reality is we are filled with fear and doubt and we hang on to what is safe, even if that means just standing still.

Life is now. Life is not tomorrow, next week, or a year from now. It is now. Yes, we all have short-term and long-term goals and we certainly should have a plan that allows us to realize those goals we set for ourselves. Everything we want or wish to achieve does not happen in the instant we want it to. How many of our goals do we actually achieve, and how many do we abandon, allowing excuses and/or fear to control our destiny?

I see a lot of people using “when or if this happens, then I will be able to do this” thinking. They are waiting for life to happen to them or for them rather than defining the path to their own fulfillment. I wonder how much of “now” we are all willing to sacrifice for that golden ring that is just outside of our reach.

I am taking a look at my own life, my own goals, and thinking about how I let my fears and my own excuses block me from fulfillment and goal achievement. The future is based on what I accomplish today. Life is now. Carpe diem.

“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.” Albert Camus

Creativity

I have written before about how every human being ever born to this earth has a unique set of talents and gifts to offer to the world. Gifts and talents that are meant to be shared, and in the sharing will lead not only to a better place for all of us to live in, but also a sense of fulfillment and meaning to the person doing the sharing. It is amazing how sharing of ourselves doesn’t deplete of us our gifts, but rather strengthens and develops them even further. We are all creative beings with our own unique way of seeing the world around us and the people in it.

I am disheartened to think of how many ways our creativity is affected and even discouraged as we grow into adults, sometimes to the point where we lose touch with our own uniqueness and gifts to share. When we are children we enter school and we learn very quickly what teachers expect of us in order to perform well. We essentially become parrots, regurgitating the right answers back to our teachers so we may proudly receive our grade for giving the “right” answer. By the time we reach adulthood after a lifetime of fitting our ideas into the right boxes, many of us have lost the ability to think outside of that box, even to the point of being intimidated or frightened by it. We are afraid to take risks and we are afraid to think in ways that are not consistent with what we have been taught.

Throughout history we have seen countless examples of individuals who saw the world differently be persecuted for their vision and their creativity, many times losing their lives in the process. Those individuals whose creativity actually manages to survive into adulthood are often viewed as outcasts or misfits by the wider society. How sad it is that we seem to have developed the need to fit everyone into the same mold and assimilate ourselves into that mold so completely. I wonder how much we are all missing out on, what beauty could be created, what genius could be inspired, what heights we could reach if we all embraced our uniqueness, nourished our creativity and loved each other unconditionally for it. After all, it is those very individuals with the most creative vision who have moved the mountains throughout time. Do we really want to end our lives knowing we just fit into a prefabricated box and never broke out of the mold of assimilation?

That isn’t what I want - not for me, not for anyone.

Hugs

Can anyone ever possibly have too many hugs? I love hugs. I love to give hugs. I love to receive hugs. I love the feeling of connection with another person that a hug provides and I love to convey to people that I am overjoyed to see them with an embrace. I don’t quite understand when it happened that we all became so afraid to touch each other. As human beings, we know that touch is essential to our emotional and mental health. So why is it that personal space has become something so many people see as off limits to any kind of touch from someone unless that person is someone with whom they have an intimate relationship (and sadly often times not even then)?

Have we really become so obsessed in our society with sex that it feels inappropriate to us to hug and touch each other? Is every touch to be construed as something inappropriate? As an expressive person who wishes to share the joy I feel for people, I do a lot of hugging. I hug everyone. Admittedly, there have been instances where I have encountered individuals who are obviously uncomfortable with my demonstration of joy for them (even members of my family), but overall the reaction is generally positive as I almost always see a warm smile on the face of the person at the end of the embrace. I have found most people seem genuinely touched by being touched.

Maybe some people are uncomfortable with hugging because they have never experienced much affection in their lives and have no frame of reference on which to base touching someone. This just strengthens my resolve to hug more people more often. The hug conveys so much to another person, and creates a momentary connection that tells someone he/she is special, and that all of my attention and interest are focused on him/her alone for that moment in time. After all, as children of God, we ARE all special. I think that at the very least that deserves a hug.

Feeding the spirit

I am struck by how much time so many individuals spend giving energy and attention to things that hold no meaning and serve no purpose in achieving their full potential, and how comparatively little time is spent on pursuits that nourish the spirit. All of us, regardless of “religious” affiliation, need to feed our spirit with pursuits that fulfill us so that we may achieve a sense of peace, contentment and love. In so doing we are more fully able to share ourselves with those around us, and become agents of change in a world full of hatred and violence. Instead, so many of us spend so much time allowing negative thoughts and fears to block us from receiving all we could and return us to a state of love.

The world bombards us not only with frightening images of hatred, fear and violence, but also with an endless stream of meaningless “entertainment” to numb our minds and anesthetize our pain away. We empty our minds and our souls into endless hours of television, video games, and other pursuits which hold no meaning and ultimately provide no joy or fulfillment, only a temporary respite from our fear and sadness. If we spent just a fraction of that time nourishing our spirit each day what a monumental difference it could make in our outlook and in our relationships with those around us.

I suppose for some individuals choosing anesthesia is easier and temporarily feels good so there is little motivation to face the challenges it may require to go deeper into themselves on a daily basis. In the long term, however, it is not a lasting solution to discontent and the feeling of distance from love and fulfillment. Disconnectedness from our own spirit shuts out the voice of God and terminates the gift of His divine voice speaking to us and through us. What a tragedy that is, not only for ourselves but for those around us and on a more global scale for the world we live in.

Wildfire

Over the last three days I have been reminded that living in the area that I do creates a vulnerability that by its very nature threatens the most basic elements of life I take for granted every single day. For a time over the course of these past days I waited by the television and the computer to find out whether I would have to evacuate from my home due to a fast approaching wildfire. Reports of the progress of the fire became the focus with everything else fading into the background.

As the news continued to grow more disconcerting, instead of mounting anxiety, I felt a strange sense of peace. I suppose some might call it denial of reality, especially upon examination of a map showing how close the fire did actually come to my home. But it didn’t actually feel like denial. It felt more like a realization. A realization that the things and possessions I am surrounded by really hold little to no meaning in my life. I looked around my home and thought hard about the things I would want to save from a fire. Faced with this situation the only possessions that came to mind were the things that maintain my sense of connectedness with other people. Photographs, treasures passed down from previous generations, quilts and other handmade gifts, and special cards and notes I have saved from individuals over the years — many of whom are now deceased. All in all, not very much stuff to load into the car. When faced with the possibility of losing everything, I realized it really doesn’t hold much meaning for me anyway.

When faced with the possibility of losing everything, I realized that the things I am surrounded with may provide comfort, entertainment, and shelter, but ultimately they are meaningless. I’ve never been a materialistic person so this doesn’t surprise me at all, but I think the realization is clearer to me now than it ever has been before. My sense of true joy and fulfillment comes from my connectedness with God, and as a natural extension of that my connectedness to others.

Certainly I am profoundly grateful that I still have my home and the things in it, and I am also grateful for the renewed realization that ultimately it all doesn’t really hold that much meaning for me. This realization, I believe, has actually served to deepen my sense of gratitude and appreciation for the blessing my home is because it is placed in proper perspective for me.

Anyway, the danger appears to have now passed, the clearest reminder of these last days being the smoke in the air and the ash on the ground. I want to express my deepest gratitude and appreciation for the love and concern extended to me by so many of my online friends. Your kind concern meant more to me than any of you will ever know.

Perception

In our communication with one another and in all of our interactions with the world, our perception of what is being said or done is the information we allow into our consciousness that conforms to our own set of expectations about how people are going to treat us and how we expect the world to work. We take in the information that conforms to our own expectations and frequently ignore information that does not.

The way we see the world and those in it is merely a reflection of our own internal environment and emotions. If we are filled with fear, we will perceive the world and others in it with fear and suspicion. If we are filled with doubts and cynicism, we will seek information in the world to confirm these truths for us.

Further, our internal environment determines how we interact with others and the world. If we are filled with anger, hostility, or fear we will project those qualities out into the world and make them reality, all to confirm our perceptions of what is truth as we perceive it.

I am thinking today of my own perceptions and internal framework and how I am affected by my emotions. I am thinking of the ways in which I push aside love and replace God’s voice with my own. It is my desire to approach others and my world with love, compassion, forgiveness, and kindness and I do not want to allow fear to play any part in my perceptions and expectations. It is also my desire to perceive others and their interaction with me from a place of love and understanding, not fear and insecurity. In so doing, I am able to play a meaningful role in creating a world based on love and acceptance, not on fear and anger.

Staying in the light

In a world so full of hatred, violence, cynicism, and downright cruelty it is not terribly difficult to understand how it is that so many people are feeling depression, despair, anger and fear. We are bombarded with news stories of war, corruption, torture, hatred and evil. Even in our personal lives we are finding our interacions with others to be increasingly hostile, negative, and callous with a disconnectedness from those around us. One car ride on the local freeway is all the evidence we really need to prove the point.

In these challenging and fearful times it can become difficult for us to sense the light inside of us and approach our world with love and kindness. Our fears and anxieties, both globally and personally, can sometimes feel overwhelming to us. It is therefore a challenge to feel hopeful and prevent the light of love inside our hearts from being extinguished by the darkness in the world that is attempting to stamp it out. Fear and anxiety are the opposite of love. Allowing cynicism and hopelessness to take root in our hearts permits that fear to prevail over love.

We may at times feel powerless to make a difference when the forces of darkness seem so much greater than the power of the light, but we must continue to nurture God’s light in our hearts and carry the torch as a beacon of hope to the world. It begins within our own hearts and our own lives, and must be shared with as many people as possible throughout the course of our lifetime. We can become agents for change, members of a collective consciousness with the capacity to strengthen each other in our times of weakness, pray for each other in times of pain, forgive each other in times of hurt, build one another up in times of self doubt, and - of course - love each other, always.