Reflections and Questions on a Saturday Night in May

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? When was the last time you really took a good look into your eyes, studied your face, examined yourself? When was the last time you asked yourself who you really are, what your essence is as a human being, and what it is you wish to give to the world of yourself? When you look in that mirror, do you see a role? Do you see a worker, a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling? Who do you wish to present to the world? What do you keep hidden? What are your hopes, your wishes, your dreams, your fears, your barriers, your darkest secrets? Who in your life do you truly show yourself in entirety? Is there anyone who has seen everything, who knows you and accepts you exactly as you are and not only wants to share in your joys, triumphs, and successes, but also wants to be with you in your fears, insecurities, and disappointments? Do you have someone who shows you who you really are, is totally honest about what they see, champions you no matter what, and loves you through everything? Who are you growing into, becoming, discovering? Do you love what you see when you look in the mirror? Do you appreciate what you see in your reflection for the amazing gift that you truly are to the world? Who are you? Do you know? Are you being faithful to yourself, to who you are, to who you are meant to become? Look at yourself, see yourself, be true to that spirit you see inside of you. You are beautiful, you are radiant, your candle’s beams extend and glow and warm and inspire.

In these very last moments of my birthday, I am inspired to ask myself many questions; I vow to myself that the journey of self discovery and growth will never cease for I believe wisdom rests in honoring that process. We must never close ourselves off to it, remembering to be gentle with ourselves as we progress through painful laboring, and always move forward in hope — for hope is where life is lived to its fullest and where happiness is to be encountered. Dreaming the biggest dreams and reaching for the furthest stars are within our grasp when we embrace hope, when we feed the fire that burns in our spirit, and when we never allow the silencing of our inner child who truly believes that all things are possible.

Writing the Book of Our Lives

From the time we are small children a book is being written for our lives; the script that defines who we are and who we will become. Pages of this book are written by many authors including our parents, our teachers, and everyone we ever come in contact with. Every experience we ever have adds a new page to the book which serves as our blueprint for our personality and how we will see the world. As children, we are rewarded for behavior that is viewed as “good” and we are punished for behavior that is “bad”. We learn very quickly what behavior to repeat in order to get the reward and what behavior not to repeat to avoid being punished.

When we grow up and become adults, the reward and punishment system is something we begin to take responsibility for ourselves. Each one of us is the culmination of everything that has gone into our book up to that point in our lives, and we make decisions about our own punishment and our own reward based on what has been recorded in those pages. Unfortunately, it seems we are much more adept at the punishment part of the system as we revisit our shortcomings and mistakes over and over again in our memories and never allow the possibility of forgiveness. It is so much easier to believe all that is negative than it is to see that we are worthy and deserving of love and all that is good. How many barriers we end up putting in our own way by deciding we are unworthy, incapable, undesirable, unlovable, and unforgiveable. Judgment becomes second nature.

Instead of all the negative self talk that we read over and over again as our bedtime story, what if we allowed for the possibility of writing pages that are kinder and gentler to ourselves? What if we could see ourselves as a divine reflection of our Creator and edit the pages of the book that cause us so much pain and prevent us from becoming all that we want to be? We must believe that the book that tells us who we are based on all the disappointments, all of the judgment and all of the negativity can be rewritten, and those pages can be replaced with a script that empowers us and redefines our vision of ourselves as the loving, talented, gifted, compassionate, forgiving beings that we really are. We are not powerless victims of all that has gone before, but rather we can choose to see that everything that has ever happened to us can be a learning tool which can bring us into a place of strength and wisdom about who we truly are, who we wish to become, and provide us with the confidence and hope to dream of accomplishment and the fulfillment of our authentic purpose.

What I am continually learning is the greatest pain is also the greatest opportunity for self exploration and growth, and also the greatest opportunity to nurture and experience the unity we have with one another in the commonality and community of our humanity. Pain is a very skilled and wise instructor……we must listen to it and learn from it and use it for everything it can offer to us; otherwise it is just wasted suffering….

Perceiving one another in love, not fear

When we interpret what others are saying to us, we perceive their words and their actions through the lens of our own ego. What can be so hazardous is this leaves us open to misinterpretation of their motives and intentions toward us. We assume we know better what is going on inside someone else’s head and heart, and we project our own fears and insecurities onto them in an attempt to confirm our own faulty thinking. We order our world in a way that is consistent and logical to us, and refuse to allow anything into our hearts that may conflict with our ordered perspective. This would create too much discomfort for us, and would make us vulnerable as we open our hearts to trust in the miracle that love can bring. What results is building of walls around our hearts as we mistakenly believe we are protecting ourselves from being hurt or disappointed. But really those walls only close us off from the miracle of love as we insist on keeping our ego comfortable, and instead of protecting us from being hurt, the very walls we think are protecting us become our own undoing.

What if we just took a chance, took a step of faith…faith in love? Trust in the love, the pure love, the love that lives inside each one of us that is not ego driven, but driven rather by just being, and wanting to be shared. Love that demands to be shared, and given not because of what it will receive in return for having been shared, but rather demands to be shared because that is its nature, its essence, its desire. This love is given as a gift to us, and is to be shared with others in unity of spirit, oneness with each other, oneness with our divinity and with God. By viewing others with suspicion, wondering about their motives and perceiving them through our ego, we serve to block ourselves off from that gift, thereby isolating ourselves and allowing the seeds of fear to take root deep inside our hearts.

There have been times when I have felt my own vulnerability and have been hurt by some whose fears have been projected outward, but pure love can never truly be hurt or damaged. Pure love grows in its strength, and even in its wounds it will burn brighter for the experience and for the sharing. So instead of projecting our fears and presuming we know better what the motives and intentions of others are, let’s hear each other and listen with our hearts and put our own ego-based needs and fears aside to let the miracle of love lead us to places of joy, giving, comfort, and healing.

Moving from ego angst into love

So much angst seems to have at its root the insistence on the false belief in separateness, a separation from God, a separation from others. The belief that one is all alone with no one who could possibly understand the depth of pain, the depth of loneliness, the need for love and to be heard. The greatest mistake made is to seek out filling the emptiness inside by looking outward to material things, to power, to food, to drugs or alcohol, even to people in unhealthy connections. This creates a never ending cycle of disappointment and more emptiness.

Everything that is essential is found inside each one of us. We have all been equipped with everything we need to find our own sense of fulfillment and peace. We are not separate from God, from one another, or even from ourselves. The ego convinces us that we are separate, that we have no value, and it runs “tapes” in our heads that keep us stuck in the same place and unable to move forward. There is so much joy and wonder to be discovered inside of ourselves, so much to learn from, so much to grow and to discover, so much to give back to those around us and our world. But instead of being excited about everything that is there, everything that is just waiting for us to tap into it, we instead insist on our own misery, our own self doubts, and convince ourselves we have nothing to offer worth valuing. How tragic, not only for ourselves but for the world and those in it who need to receive our gifts from us. How sad too that so many are so unwilling to recognize and embrace their own divinity, their own light that shines inside.

I was talking to a young lady a few weeks ago, a young lady with so much promise and so much potential and when I said to her how exciting it was that her gifts and talents were going to make such a huge difference in the world, her reply was that she had none…she had nothing to offer. I couldn’t believe it! Why is it so easy for us to believe the worst, to tell ourselves we have nothing to offer, to allow our ego to lie to us, to take everything that has ever hurt us and convince ourselves that is who we are, and put limits on our own potential? We have the power within us to turn this around; it IS a choice. Let’s all start making a new choice, a choice for love, a choice for us, for our potential, for our divinity, for our light.

I believe we were all created to love, to share our love freely with others and strengthen one another through that love. We share the commonality of being human. That is huge! It could do such amazing things in this world if we could only tame our ego’s selfish needs, and recognize our unity with one another. Love should be given because it is a part of our nature, because we simply MUST give it, not because our ego will receive something for it in return. As we transition into spring and summer, we see flowers blooming and trees sprouting new growth, and they don’t do these things because someone says how beautiful they are and for gratification of their ego’s selfish needs. They do so just because it is their nature to do so, because they MUST do so. What if we looked at sharing love, compassion, acceptance and comfort to one other in the same way. To just offer those things to someone because we must, because it is our nature to do so. Who knows what miracles we could create in each other’s lives if we would simply open ourselves to the possibilities that love can create in someone else.