Faith and Experience

Is it experience that occurs first that leads to faith, or is faith required first in order to have an experience? From a spiritual perspective, there have been examples of both. There have been those who have written of experiences of spirit that just happened to them out of the blue without any sort of faith or practice or seeking out. There have also been accounts of individuals who had faith first and experienced encounters with the Divine that have been life changing.

As an everyday example, we believe that every morning the sun will rise. We believe this based on experience because every other day has started the same way, with the sun in the same position in the sky. But let’s say you had never experienced the sun before, and had never seen a sunrise. You have no frame of reference to understand what the sun is. Someone approaches you and tells you that this great awakening of heat and light will appear in the sky in the morning, and in fact will appear at approximately the same time every morning. What would you think? Would you believe this person based on his experience? Or would it require your own experience in order for you to believe it? Once you see that this awakening of light and warmth in the sky does appear in the morning and you experience it for yourself, how would this in turn affect your belief? Your belief would be strengthened by your own experience, wouldn’t it?

Religions begin with the experience of an individual or individuals. Subsequent followers of that religion develop belief in the experience of those individuals. But what of the experience of the followers themselves? Is individual experience necessary for a religion to survive or is it sufficient for the followers to live in the belief of the experiences of others, with the focus for followers being on faith (the scripture verse comes to mind that says, blessed is he who believes without seeing)?

For cult followers faith has been transformed into something else, into a belief in a person to the point of sacrficing themselves to, and for, that individual, even to the point of giving up their lives. At what point does faith turn into something completely blind and devoid of individual thought on the part of a follower? How is this related to individual experience, if at all?

Further, science is not immune from the faith/experience discussion. Science tends to center itself (or perhaps it thinks it does) in the realm of experience. If there is an objective, tangible result that can be replicated, there can then be belief. But science also finds itself readjusting to new discoveries, new “facts”, and history has shown that over time much of what science thinks it knows as experience is changed, modified, or even deleted from “knowledge”.

Faith and experience. Can you have one without the other?

Life Legacy

Think of Beethoven or Mozart and you hear beautiful music. Think of Shakespeare and you conjure quotations and words from sonnets and plays. Think of Van Gogh and an image of artwork comes to mind. Think of Jesus, Buddha, Muhammed, Rumi, etc., and you think of spiritual or religious teaching. Think of Einstein and you reach back and pull out the theory of relativity from the cobwebs of your mind.

Legacies. What is passed down through the ages that marks the time of an individual life lived. Some lives have left something physical of beauty in art, poetry, words, or music. Some lives have left knowledge and teaching and experience. Some lives have left a legacy of love, kindness and compassion. Some lives have left a legacy of painful lessons.

Every life leaves a legacy. What will be your mark?

Regrouping

I have typed and erased so many times I am beyond words.

Something happened in my last post, where most of it is really just a memorization of what’s been said or heard or read somewhere, and spit out by me in summary. That leaves me with some tough questions to ask myself because spitting out summaries of what’s been said or heard or read somewhere feels a bit too similar to something else I told myself I had awakened from. It is only when I allow myself to be led by and trust in my own heart that anything ever “feels” right to me. But self doubt and insecurity are familiar for me, and I easily find myself in their playground molding and conforming to them. So I am reflecting on my sliding into a place of dismissmal of, and/or deafness to, my own voice, which is something that has been quite automatic for me at times. I’m trying too hard, pushing too much, being too urgent, and speeding past myself.

A lesson, a learning opportunity, a time for reflection and slowing down.

Ego, Love, and Oneness

Okay, so I woke up and re-read and have gone back to the drawing board. I’m thinking too much and trying too hard. It happens a lot.

Comments on this post from you who gift me with your wisdom and presence with such generosity and care are so much greater in truth than my ineptitude here that I’ve kept only the last sentence of my original post.

As taught in psychology 101, the ego as a psychological concept in and of itself is neither positive nor negative, but is rather just an organizing center for us to make decisions in daily life, guide behaviors, and navigate us through society. According to Sigmund Freud, the ego is the negotiator between the id (which he defined as our primitive wants and desires), and the superego (which he described as our moral center based on what we are taught about right and wrong and living in a society). The ego functions as the go-between for these two sometimes conflicting personality concepts.

So then the essential question becomes where we will choose to center our allegiance. Will it be the spiritual heart, our true nature, where there is no illusion of separation and we are not dominated by ego fear teaching that has resulted from years of conditioning and “domesticating”, or will it be the fearful, narcissistic, selfish ego teaching that keeps us bound to to the elaborate construct of separation? Will we choose to believe we are unworthy and worthless instead of just accepting our weaknesses and blemishes as part of our fabric and moving forward in Love anyway?

Love manifests as awareness of Oneness, not from the deception of separation.

Love Yourself as Your Neighbor

If a friend comes to you and presents you with a situation he (or she) is going through in his life, it is generally very easy to be supportive, Loving, caring, and nonjudgmental, right? So why is it then that this same Love can be so difficult to offer to ourselves? For those who hold Love sacred, in fact see God as Love, is it not then a responsibility in honoring that which is held in such esteem to first offer ourselves the Love we would so freely and effortlessly offer to a friend? And yet it seems effortless to be harsh with ourselves, to punish ourselves, to let our chattering minds tell us how worthless and undeserving we are. Unfortunately, some religious traditions don’t really help much, but rather reinforce what worthless sinners we are, in need of redemption and saving.

We are all the same. We are all of Love, we are all creations of Love, we are all reflections of God as Love. No one is more or less deserving of forgiveness, of patience, of kindness, of compassion, of Love. Somehow we have twisted the idea that to Love ourselves is to be narcissistic or egocentric, and in some sense of false humility it actually becomes admired when we talk down about ourselves or diminish ourselves. Yes, we all have good and bad sides. We all make mistakes and bad decisions that we regret and feel remorse over. But who we are is defined deeper than any behavior we exhibit on the surface, behavior that has mostly come about as a result of conditioning or fear or pain.

What a slap in the face to Love, to God … to be willing to look upon yourself as anything but what you are, the creation that came out of a thought of Love, a creation of glorious gifts and talents to share, perfectly created, perfectly deserving, just as you are.

So, Love yourself first. Jesus said to Love your neighbor as yourself. Maybe it would be a good reminder as well to Love yourself as your neighbor.

Hope in the Light

Life shatterings, fractures, losses, hurts, disappointments….none of us will make it through our lifetime without experiencing at least one (usually many more than one). Whether it is death of a loved one, a job loss, a divorce, a serious illness, the loss of a child, being the victim of a crime, a war or any number of other devastating events, we all know and have experienced the pain that accompanies life shatterings. When we are in the middle of the experience it feels as if it is not survivable. Even when we do physically survive, perhaps a piece of us does die.

In the middle of the blackest night of our hearts the chatter tries to convince us there is no such thing as Light, there is no hope, there is no relief. Fear grins at the opportunity when we are in the darkness as it wraps its long tentacles around us and squeezes tightly, placing us in a stranglehold of suffocation and paralysis.

The sadness can become overwhelming, and the fear convinces us things will never be any different. We willingly listen to the lies that tell us there is to be no Light for us. We listen to the words of extremes, of failure, self doubt, uncertainty, hopelessness and downright cruelty.

But the Light does shine through the darkest, blackest night, even if there are moments when we are so consumed by our sadness we believe it has fled. It is always there, regardless of whether we see it or not. Maybe it arrives in the form of a friend’s hug, a family member’s company, the kind word of a stranger who knows nothing about what you are going through but just said something to brighten your day, an e-mail, an offer of assistance, a knock on the door, a phone call, a new opportunity, a slight improvement in blood tests, or just a small sense of relief, even for just a moment. It comes in our most lonely times and holds us invisibly, cradling and Loving, even when we are completely unaware of its presence. Turning our face to see it isn’t easy, may even be impossible at times for there is grieving to do, but eventually in the hard work of grief as we surrender to the inevitability of the darkness that accompanies the pain and loss, the Light is stronger than ever, shining for us and on our behalf. Call on it, turn toward it, lean on it, for it will never flee or be extinguished, and will always embrace in healing, comfort, Love, compassion and … hope.

Love Just Is

Theologians, poets, authors, musicians, artists, scientists…all have described and defined love, all from their own perspective. Amazing how many different approaches there are to describing love, to putting love into words. There are as many ways to express Love as there are ways to experience Love. There are simply no words that can contain it. It is a force of fury without limits, without definition, refusing to be confined to the box we try to seal it in. There is no definition that adequately represents Love in total.

Love just IS.

Love is a force, an energy, what I call God. As creations, thoughts, reflections of Love, we ARE Love; we are the Light of God, the Love of God, the creation of God. Rather than merely a sentimental emotion, Love is more than we can possibly imagine it to be. The manifestations of Love we express in our lives are parts of the Whole. Each expression itself is not the total definition, this being something far beyond our limited scope allows us to comprehend. How can we possibly do Love justice in words?

Love just IS.

Love of a parent for a child, a lover for a lover, a human for an animal/pet, compassion for suffering, a broken heart due to a shattered dream, grief over loss, being consumed with passion for purpose, offering a kind word or a gesture, giving of our time and our assistance…these are manifestations of Love. We are so used to thinking of love in limited ways that to expand our understanding outside the box is a little like trying to organize infinity into a timeline.

Love just IS.

The Purpose “Driven” Life

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, The Purpose Driven Life, The On-Purpose Person, The Power of Purpose, How to Discoover your Purpose in 10 Days, Moving through Life Transitions with Power and Purpose…The bookstore shelves are plentifully supplied with this popular subject. It seems that seeking meaning in life is a pretty universal question, and a career has been born for some who seem to have discovered their purpose, which is writing books to help those of us struggling with purpose.

When does the questioning start? I don’t know of any children who are contemplating their purpose in life unless they have been conditioned very early to do so by adults. Children are very natural in their interests, very open in their capacity to dream big dreams, and very free about just being. So at what point does the existential angst settle in and we begin asking ourselves what life is all about? Is it at that point of awakening one day in middle age and wondering if there is more to life than paying bills, going to work every day, watching t.v., running errands, etc.? Is the process beginning in our early adult years when we are exploring who we are, what our career goals might be, where we would like to live and the kind of lifestyle we wish to have?

How is purpose defined? Is struggle with purpose merely a reflection of boredom with life, a complacency about the easiness, the coasting, the constancy of one day after another fading into a dull gray where the excitement and passion for living have just sort of burned out after years of the same thing day in and day out, years of steady disillusionment in the school of hard knocks? Or is there more to it? Are we wired to question purpose by nature because we are each born to accomplish something in this life and we will not have a sense of satisfaction unless we complete that task? I have a sense for myself this is accurate.

Do people in parts of the world whose daily worries focus on finding enough water to survive for the day struggle with issues of life purpose, or does contemplation of the meaning of life confine itself to those who take for granted that the few basic “needs” for living are going to be met every day? Maslow suggests the basic needs for life must be met first before we can move up the hierarchy toward actualization. I wonder if that is true.

Maybe I have questions because I too am contemplating purpose, life’s meaning, and asking myself some questions about whether I am living my purpose. I wonder if feeling peaceful about purpose can really be found in a book that promises I will know my purpose in 10 days. I also wonder if all the searching is precisely the source of the angst. People are now adding to the pressure of their already heavily laden lives by this feeling that they must power through to purpose. Purpose is attacked in the same way we attack everything else, with 10 steps to success. Driven to purpose, the power of purpose. Action items.

I think back on what it was like to be a child, carefree without worries, without responsibilities, just learn to be a good citizen. As adults, it seems to be such a struggle to be content with today, with just being, being a good citizen, and trusting our inner nature to guide and take care of the tough questions that arise when the mind starts elaborating too much and telling us we just aren’t getting “it”, that something is missing. Is it as simple as just trusting our inner nature, the voice we have replaced and drowned out with our mental angst? Or maybe I just still have a lot more reading to do.

What is the Present Anyway?

What is the present?

As I type this text, each letter that appears exists in the future and in the past, and for a split instant in the present. At least by the narrow confine of time as I know it.

I look at the second hand on a clock and see the in-between time where the hand has no movement, and seemingly hangs there between the past and the future before it moves again. I wonder if it is possible for me to expand this moment by opening my mind to the possibility of another concept of time, a definition not constrained to a box on my dresser.

Maybe the *present* is simply the eternal state of time that just *is* all the time, with no past and no future. If eternity has no beginning and no end, can there be a past or a future? For there to be a future wouldn’t that imply movement forward? Forward toward what? So is there only the present, and we’ve merely convinced ourselves there is a past and a future? Are we limited in this space here in this life by the ticking of a clock because of our finite physical existence, and is that what makes it so difficult to expand thoughts into other concepts of time?

A recent medical study showed that the portion of the brain that makes amnesiacs unable to recall the past is also the region of the brain responsible for future projection. In other words, amnesiacs live in the present all of the time. What it must be like to have no memory of the past and no ability to project into the future, to be living in the present all of the time. The way our world is organized it would pose obvious challenges, and would also necessitate a very narrow, confined life.

Maybe it isn’t even the concept of the past or a future that is so confounding but rather our emotional reactions and attachments to them that create difficulties for us. Perhaps to be present simply means releasing the regrets of the past and the worries of the future. Sounds so simple to define, not so simple to implement.

I think I’m in over my head on this elaboration. Maybe Eckhart Tolle can shed some light for me. Since I haven’t read The Power of Now yet, I guess that is my next stop.

Waking Up and Being

So what came next?

A period of grief, of walking into the darkness of uncertainty. It was a scary time to emerge from what felt like a coma, only then to be viewed by some as lost from the truth. I realize, however, there is no enemy, no one for me to point a finger at, no one to blame. For me to give home to anger would only serve to perpetuate the darkness, and would sow seeds in my heart that would nurture the very attitudes of others that had caused me pain. Today I find my spirit, mind and heart open to Truths I may learn and discover as a student, whatever the source of the teaching may be.

My emergence into awareness and awakening from the illusion that I am separate from God, an illusion born of fear and insecurity, brings me peace and teaches me Truth. There is no way for me to be anything other than what I am.