Joanne,
A good question, that of friends. Having moved around the country for 20 or so years for my work, I encountered many who were friends at the time. We now exchange Christmas cards but not actual feelings. A few of my friends have died and I wish I could take back those times past to tell them how important they were then.
Suffice it to say that good friends are hard to come by and even harder to keep. I can count on maybe three nearby friends in case of need. The rest is family, which is an entirely different thing since they more or less have to be your friends.
Nice to read your blog once again. lyle

Even though people fascinate me, I’ve always been a little shy and a bit of an introvert. I like my home to be cozy and homey, but must admit it is somewhat like a cave or fortress in my mind. My safe place. I’m not much of a pop-in friend, prefer a call first.

I’ve struggled with friendships my whole life. I’ve been friendly with a lot of folks, but have had few really good friends. They always seem to move away. Right now, my closest friend moved a couple of years ago and I don’t really have any close friend at the moment. All of my old “church” buddies don’t hang with me anymore because of who I have become, which is a deviant in their eyes, I suppose.

Even though I like my solitude, I also thrive on having one or two very close friends and I feel the lack very strongly. I miss the phone calls, the stopping by for coffee, the companionship, the conversations about books, movies, current events, the meaning of life, etc. I worry about expecting too much from Tammy, her being both my wife and my only close friend.

Lyle,
Thank you for sharing your experience with friendships. It really strikes me how people come and go in our lives, whether due to geography, life changes, and even death. I wonder what makes it so challenging to find and keep good friends. As you suggest, family almost always endures because more or less it has to, but what of the people we choose and who choose us…it is ironic to think those are the relationships that can be the most fragile, as if the fact that there is no bond by blood means something is missing, something needed to act as a sort of “glue” that bonds regardless of circumstance.

Twila,
Thank you for opening and sharing your thoughts. I find a lot in common with what you say, having struggled with friendships a lot too. I know I’ve tried very hard over the years to be a good friend to others, but there is still this lacking. Consequently, as you suggest, for the one or two people who are very close (and are family), so much reliance is put into them and onto them to fill those places that it becomes worrisome.

Ironically, I didn’t have any more luck with friendships when I was involved in the church. I used to find it sort of fascinating how removed and distanced and cold people were in church. I longed for the dream of church where people embraced one another, cared about one another, were interested in one another…instead, it was a race to the parking lot after the service every Sunday. It’s even harder for me now since my ideas and thinking and interests are a huge mismatch for the area where I live.

Again, thank you for contributing. It helps to know these are not feelings felt in isolation.